sick
Oh.. im feeling so so sick la.
Wholebody been aching.
Fever for 2 days.
Block nose wif bloody greenish mucus.
Coughing with so thick flam.
Sat night at o bar was relatively fun.
With so many people around.
Looking at how zaitian got so lost is so amuzing...
Imagine the next afternoon he msged mi saying.
"how did i got home""how come i lying on my living room floor""why my jeans so dirty"
Siala.. now i believe if that night he got rape. he would have no recollection at all man.
Last night although i wasnt feeling well i still went for "TOP UP" session wif roy n his friends
Relatively fun and eye opening for mi.
First they got all their car washed squeaky clean.
Next headed to pump petrol. i gt a chance to see how desperate they was to fill the freaking tank full.
afterwhich we headed for a place to eat n rest awhile.
Chatted n chatted till all the birds were awake and 3 shiny cars was targets for their life fireing session.
So hilarious looking at 3 big guys holding tissues wiping shit away n cursing all the birds up there.
Homed n slept.
Kelong trip.5 months ago.time flew
we used to hang out almost everyday wif laughters
All im left wif is how u hate mi. thank u
I miss having small quarrels n sweet moments to share with.
I miss always having a company for meals.
I miss pubbing with this group of friends.
I miss I miss!
Also. this is this stop lump growing in my left lower eye lids.
Bao say gotta see doc n let dem cut la squeeze la.
Supposely the pus n blood is gonna OOUUZZZZ out..
Irritating.. fear of needle.. jus thinking of how the doc gonna inject the anesesia can kill mi alreadi.
But the medication i tryin dun seem to help anymore leh.
I WANNNA GO THAILAND!
NOW NOW NOW~ cant wait...
Hmmm lets plan for hantu trip.
2 weeks from now can anot?
Kinda rush i knoe but i believe its possible.
Tml i shall call up people n see if its visible.
Anyone keen on going for a budget island.getaway?
wat sia.
hmmm ramdomly spending my days hm sleeping and nights out.
Jus got hm from mj wif bao ono n qiang.
Was heading to ker kou mian actually.
But sumhow or rather. i am home now. Now rather willingly thuo.
Few days back... on a same table there was whispers.
That felt bad. But i gotta respect their idea. Whether to allow mi to knoe.
Perhaps he was protecting his friend. I can understand.
Now having a supper i also gotta feel fucking outcast.
Can someone tell mi a reason.
Perhaps im suck a fucked up friend?
At least tell mi whats wrong so i can change for the better?
Or maybe. jus tell mi what things i've done to deserve this eh ?
Hate this feeling since young. u can bitch bout mi. perhaps im not so bothered.
But having to know my friends are happily enjoyin their supper but i gotta be like home thinking why i cant be there.. TOTALLY SUCKS
Thanks.
Im gonna learn another lesson in life to learn to live alone.
Gd nite
Hmm..
Been to the wake last night.
Skipped training.
Skipped rovers campfire.
Hmm...
Had alif and heading to west coast recreation centre.
Played number ball n obviously i was a BA KA.
Headed home.
Kinda tell myself not to buy ciggs.
But then... still ended up gettin a pac.
Wat the.
I wanna learn to quit being a emo kid.
Smile =)
its 05.debbie@gmail.com k girl.
My friend dunno when he can book out the next time. there goes one potential birthday present. haha
I think my blog is so boring la..
Hmmm...
I think my this friend relationship is realli to kiddish frankly.
Go work it out.
This shouldnt be the way.
U decided for yourself.
Friends adviced.
Everyone respected ur decision.
Now u gotta learn to handle the consequences ya.
Thats adult world.
Responsibility.
I know you can handle it.
Jia you ba.
Im so bored here.
Headache.
Pam. pls invite mi into ur world.
=)
Anyway..this few days have past just like that.
I've still yet to go to SIM personally to certify true copy for my certs.
I dun wan to waste my beloved administration fees for nothing.
Missed my facial appointment on thursday.
Some bball peeps cousin pass away.
God bless him to find refuge in the other world.
God bless family and friends to be strong.
Tomorrow is training day. No strength. think liao also tired.
But training there is nice. at least i get this another group of girl friends which are real funny.
At least i get a shed some grams.
Haha. Not kilos i knoe.
Been having nice food. All thanks to ONO n ROY
Ono brought mi n bao to eat ba kut teh at marsilling in the chilly cold cold rain. SHOIK!
Roy got mi to eat chong qing huo guo~
Obar on ladies nite.
Chevrons on thursday nite.
Declared smoking to family.
Heck care.
Gd nite.
nobodys child
I go thru this vicious cycle.
Of feeling abandon.
Of feeling unwanted.
Of feeling that im totally a mistake to be in this world.
Once i got home.
I was welcomed by a ill stricken super black face.
According to aunt. My attitude to grandma is atrocious.
She complimented me on how great was i being able to turn someone whom cared for me so much to someone who is nonchalant to me.
Somehow i struck me that i argued back. Aint she any better from me? Shouting at grandma on n off jus becoz ah ma is questioning her regarding the drama details.
Is she helping the housework at all? NO
She washing her own clothes? NO
I get scolded because i wash my clothes n dun hang them according to their standards.
Because i didnt help to change the turtle water. it WEE QIU YAN CHRISSY DEBBIE AKA PLS DIE SOON fault.
Come on. this 4 room flat has 4 human being.
Why only 1 is being reprimanded to contribute nothing to the household?
Simply because im not their child.
Because my mother is a cheap.
Because my dad is a horny bastard.
Because my just a stubborn fetus that couldnt be aborted in time.
My aunt commented that she will treat mi as a tenant.
Asked me to behave like a tenant.
Respect the owner's mother.
She also added that even if my grandma pass away she wont contact mi.
How sweet of her.
Now tell me how can i not think of shifting out. When i've always stayed in a rented place.
Humans live for their love ones.
People hang on to their lifes because they got loved ones dey dun wish to live behind.
I feeling like such a nag.
Always wanting to end this fucking pathetic life of mine.
I wont say this im dying shit anymore.
i make sure i do it once n for all.
DUN BE SUCH A CHICKEN!
I wan a family whom i know i wont be chased out of anytime.
Not one that i feel zero security.
God. grant me this wish.
Life
Today i woke up n headed to Jurong Entertainment for Kbox-ing.
Im amazed arron can actually pay SGD $20 jus to sit in that sofa breaking apart place to hear us scream out heads off singing out of tune for like 4 hrs.
Proceeded to dinner at S11. Passed by moderm beauty so jus pop by to book an appointment for facial. yea.. THURSDAY 2 30 pm
With the idea of bball at YTCC 7 pm, i msged EVERYONE.
And it freaking rained to the freaking day.
What sia. waste money n effort.
Continued with number ball there after.
It was my first trying playing Number.
Conclusion: Nice game but need many many more practices.
As it was raining and everyone had so plans, wenfa bao ronglie pam nas joined us.
As we ending our game, anisia shijie n arron headed home while i stayed with the rest.
Headed for Timah to continue their snooker battle
Had few games of pool.
Prata. Bused home.
Thats my day.
How is yours?
Hi people.
To choose between one.
Chrissy or Debbie
Forward or Center
Single or Attached
Slack or Work.
Do u live to plan or plan to live.
i jus plan to live. the rest is up to the wan up there playin the Sims on mi.
PATHETIC
Wee Qiu Yan Chrissy Debbie is leading a fucking pathetic life with gamble + cigarettes + jobless + no r/sKill me and tomorrow the world still spins the same way.Life still goes on just without me.God. Take me away please.
Yesterday my aunt just commented on my friends. whether they are friends or foe.
I just hate this.
But my lifestyle aint in the right track either. i know.
Friends. i never had this girlie bestie thingy before.
Friends come n go.
Carmen and i used to be so so close. meeting everyday gossiping everything we ever could together.
But one day we jus drifted. nobody know when nobody no why.
I always hope friends stays friends are for life. Becoz i seek no selter from family.
Till date. i've yet to experience that myself.
Just take me away.
Cry for me. Be happy for me. Life goes on.
I will miss all of u.
fren
i have this friend whom is going thru a hard time.
Whom i try to pick up.
But sadly, i dun think i have wat it takes to pick that person up.
He gt himself in there and stuck there.
He will need to pull himself out.
Whatever i say or do wont help.
Its demoralising. but i jus hope im a option if ever u need company or a listening ear.
I have another friend whom is falling in a blissful love.
Wish u all the best and happiness.
Friday will be a fine day. dun worry too much.
things will fall nicely n naturally.
God knows how to plan things. No worries girl.
Its a good thing u came to clarify that ba.
Im here feeling so not loved =)
So unimportant to this world full of happenings.
Accountable to no one.
I wish god list a purpose for mi to be here and show mi the list soon.
Good Night everyone!
p.s : Meimiao i miss chatting wif u 8-5 everyday. ;)
GENTING
Hi everyone!
I hereby announce im the top winner for the genting trip.
Clinching a deposit amount of 1200RM into GENTING CASINO FIXED DEPOSITS.
The rest of my friends deposited more amount. Guess they looking at a higher interest rates the next visit ba =P
Now let mi recap the trip generally.
Firstly...went to ono house to meet up with the rest. Play cards awhile to warm our engines.
Was tired and went to find a cosy angle. Doze off for awhile.
Next morning. Wash up headed to BP Plaza for our coach!
Up the bus took our seats, mine was at the last row and off we go!
The mood was kinda happy all the way. enthu n all.
Upon arrival, while waiting for our rooms had lunch at mary brown =/
Their attitude sucks can.
But whatever. Got our rooms. bathe changed and...
ROUND 1 FIGHT!
But before that, had so much trouble trying to get into the stupid casino.
All the gantry we try ALL ask for my identification and ALL deny my entry.
Was so helpless n lost form can.
Lucky somehow they tot for this FABULOUS plan of taking my friends gf IC.
her ic no. is 780XXX10A. hahahaha
Had no problem of entry since den. My identity changed for 3 days.
Den it was all the way casino n jus breaks for meals.
its my first time going into a casino and i m certain time flies there.
Got to sleep twice in the room. Good thing i insisted in the sleeping part at least tat made my 88 dollars worth it right.
But after rounds and rounds of fight. We all came home with a negative balance.
But im glad this grp of people dun all turn angry or gloomy because they lost.
Instead we had so much laughters.
Really laugh kills my lungs were like having muscle cramps gasping for air.
I wanna thank YSJ for accompanyin mi this 3 days!
I wanna go leisure world liao! DENG LAI LIAO!
Headed home. Bathe rest n out for chitchating again.
Now m finally home n resting on my beloved bed.
i wanna sleep 12 hrs!
To: PAM
I hope this explaination helps.
Firstly i hold no special interest of any sort to him.
Next is to explain why i hold the fact from u.
You were so excited and delighted he initiated to add in msn.
I was happi for u . but after that i went to check my friendster he asked too.
So am i suppose to dampen ur spirits?
Or to tell u he treated u no way special den?
Its my bad for keepin the truth from u in the first place i admit.
Hope u accept my apologise.
But den and again. i hope u can empathise my point at that moment.
I wish u bliss and happiness no matter whatever ur choice.
Good night my friends
7 more hours. i'll be heading off to genting.
Somehow the mood has changed and everything seems so not enthu anymore.
I dun knoe why? jus 2 days without work everything kinda gloomy?
Having a pounding headache now.
Yet to pack my stuff too.
I'll jus take this chance to go have a retreat. think hard.
My knee hurts n it pull mi down totally.
Yesterday the pain was there on every step i applied pressure on my left knee.
i feel like a useless CHAN FEI.
Feeling tired.
Morning drag myself out of my beloved bed for friendly game with hwachong.
My the perfecttobeasleep cold rainy weather.
Should have just continue my sweet dreams. As after baolong gave mi a lift down its poured heavier.
EVERYBODY! HWACHONG DOESNT HAF A INDOOR COURT.
wat sia. training resume on 5 pm instead.
But i got plans in the evening already.
Caught L change the world.
Alrite alrite lo the show.
Ah bao gettin W950i. 4gb internal. no cam. but i think quite a good fone leh.
Ideal for sign on peeps.
Im brainstorming wat to bring for genting.
Sleepy. should head down to Ono house actually. But i kinda have difficulties moving my ass now.
Pray a happy and safe trip for mi.
And everyone at home to be safe n sound.
Ah ma health deteriating quite badly.
Aunt reckon this year she got a big 'jie' meaning she'll be in trouble or danger.
Yesterday she jus pop in my room and asked
" eh, qiu yan. u think god is so cruel to u to actually take away both ah ma n mi in the same yr?"
i jus look at her and smile.
Back in my mind i tot. if tat happened. my life will be a perfect korean soapy drama.
Take care my friends!
